Saturday 28 May 2011

Get Over It

I wish I had thought to record some of these sessions. Just as a way of reminding myself how far we have come. I can only imagine how we must have looked. Me and Chili stumbling around Carol’s driveway. What she was teaching us was based on Schutzhund Obedience Training. If you’ve never seen a dog that’s trained in this, I highly recommend that you look it up on YouTube. It’s very impressive to watch the teamwork and connection between the dog and handler. Come to think of it, I should work on this more with Chili. She was really progressing and has a beautiful prance when she heels. However, at the time, we were laughable. I’m going in one direction and Chili’s trying to drag me in another. We certainly weren’t a good example of obedience. Poor Chili, relying on me for direction. Of course she wasn’t going to listen to me until I stepped up and became the leader. She was the natural and I had to work my ass off. Carol must have had a stiff drink after these sessions.

As I’ve explained before, I was so afraid of hurting Chili that I practically paralyzed myself when it came to being the leader. I couldn’t even make a correction with any kind of authority. The best way to describe it is that I was being more of an annoyance to her than getting her attention. In the beginning when Carol would do it, I would cringe and think, “My poor little girl.” Then I opened my eyes, got my head together and finally realized that Chili wasn’t getting hurt. She didn’t look or act hurt at all. She would just stop goofing around and start paying attention. She would, and still will, push to see how much she could get away with. She’s a very cheeky girl. With me, she would look around and find things to sniff or scratch, avoiding whatever I was asking her to do and basically giving me the dog version of the finger. But with Carol, she would pay attention and work. You could see her smiling and being proud of herself the whole time. Chili wasn’t a fragile little flower. She’s a brainy brat who’s playing me and the only way I would get her respect is if I told her what I wanted and didn’t accept no, or ‘in a minute’, for an answer. It has to be my way, not hers.

I guess you could call this one of my biggest revelations. Finally realizing that I had to ‘get over it’ and just work with my dog. I always knew it but I just didn’t know how to flick that switch in my brain. It didn’t occur to me that I could get control through working as a team with Chili. At that time we were training at Carol’s twice a week for an hour each night. We practiced heeling, long downs, walking backwards, and especially focus. Focus, focus, focus. Everything relied on her focusing on me. To train Chili to look at me I would put carrot pieces in my mouth, then I would tell her ‘me’ and when she looked I would spit a carrot at her. This got her looking directly at me. Luckily she loved carrots because there was no way I was putting dog treats in my mouth. We practiced this a lot, and it worked. Chili is a very smart girl and was catching onto things quickly. She was still trying to get away with doing her own thing but I was starting to get better at catching her attention. We were progressing, and what do you know, there could actually be a light at the end.

Saturday 21 May 2011

DNA Testing & Training Me

When we adopted Chili, all we knew about her breed was that she was a Rottweiler cross. We wanted to know what the cross was, so we decided to get her DNA tested. I didn’t even know this could be done unless you were in a CSI type of situation. A friend told me about it. At the time, it was $75. I think it’s even less now. Many people are sceptical about this process. You don’t need to be. First, the process is simple. You just swab the inside of the dog’s cheek. I guess this isn’t so simple depending on the dog. Luckily for us, Chili just laid there like she usually does when she’s poked at. Then you send the swabs off for testing. You don’t have to tell them anything. You have the option to send your dogs picture if you want it on the certificate but we didn’t. When we got the results back it showed that she was ¾ Rottweiler and ¼ Boxer. Based on her looks and behaviour, I’d say it’s dead on. It was good to know. Now we could read up on both the Rottweiler and Boxer to find out everything we needed to know about her. Almost everything. A guide at least.

Back to my story. Now that I’d decided to work with Carol I was finished with the trainers. They weren’t really giving us what we needed so it was time to drop out of the classes and at least get my money back for the ones we wouldn’t be attending. Yeah, right. I called Mary and let her know how I felt and that they could put the dollars for the unused classes back on my credit card. No go. In their mind, since I’d taken up a spot that could’ve been used by someone else, I would not be getting a refund. She did say I could put the money towards another class. If they weren’t helping me so far, what would make me think that another class would do the trick? OK, yes, I did take up a spot in the class but what about customer satisfaction? What they’re saying is, “Too bad you didn’t like us, and we’re keeping your money.” Of course they didn’t actually say those words but that was the gist of it. It was over. We were done with them and they were keeping our money.

Training is more than words and actions. It’s also about how the words are spoken, the way the action is taken, and the intention behind it. I am a fairly reserved, controlled and level person, but I need to get Chili's attention. Being animated and exaggerated is way outside of my realm. During our first training session Carol is on me about how I’m expressing the commands and holding my body. This is completely different from the other training classes. She can see that there's not much of a connection between me and Chili. She likes me but she doesn't look to me for guidance, or anything, other than to get something she wants. What's holding me back? I’m very gentle because I don’t want to hurt her. I refuse to even drop the leash for a second because I’m afraid she might run away. I’m having a hard time being animated because it feels entirely unnatural and I feel like I look and sound ridiculous. How does all of this sum up? Chili thinks I’m a pushover who doesn’t trust her so she doesn’t trust me and to top it off I’m completely boring to her. Why should she bother even paying attention? This is not a proud moment. It’s obvious that I’m a huge part of the problem. Carol is confident and not afraid of taking charge of Chili. This explains why she has Chili’s complete attention. You might think that all I have to do is mimic her. That’s easier said than done.

I've got a lot of work ahead of me and Chili is going to fight me the whole way. She seems to like being the boss and the fact that she's so cute isn't helping me. However, she's about to learn just how determined I can be.

Friday 13 May 2011

A New Door Opens

Before I continue with the story, I’d like to say a quick bit about trainers and training. It didn’t start out well for us but as the story continues you will see that I was lucky to end up getting help from a good friend, Carol. I was lucky again later because when I finally decided to trust another trainer I let my ‘gut’ guide me to Michele at Connective Training (real name and company). Now, Chili has a great trainer who has become one of my very best friends. What made the difference? Trusting myself and finding people who care. As I’ve said before, I’m not a trainer so this is just my opinion. Training is really an exercise in patience, observation, and both human and dog psychology. A trainer can work all they want with the dog but if the human doesn’t change - if they can’t get through to the human - all the work is for nothing. I’m nowhere near the dog mom that I was when I started, and I’m so thankful for that. This is due to the people who helped me, or at times, beat me up, along the way.
OK, let’s continue. On we go to our training classes for now at least, and we also go to another private session. Things aren’t coming together. I’m shown techniques that just don’t seem to work for us. I’m frustrated because I really want to be shown how to stop Chili from lunging. I had this idea, yes another idea, that they would have dogs that could work with us in the training. You know, I’m walking Chili while one of them walks by us with their dog and through continual repetition we work through the problem. No, we just roamed around the neighbourhood hoping to run into another dog so we could practice. Waste of time. I also stupidly end up buying a leather leash that I can’t even use from the training company. Every time it gets just a little bit wet, it turns my hands black. That doesn’t work for me. One day, Mary even witnessed the jack-in-the-box unloading of Chili out of the truck. She didn’t say anything. Why didn’t she say anything??

Needless to say, I’m frustrated. I’ve wasted so much time and money and we’re not really getting anywhere. Yes, she’s getting better at the basics but it’s almost as if they’re trying to convince me that she’s aggressive so we’ll keep coming back and paying for more private sessions. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I don’t think they were willing to step outside of their box to help us. Yes, I’ve spoken to many people since then who have had positive results from this company but I’ve also spoken to many people who had the same experience as we did. For us, they missed the point. They were supposed to help Chili by helping teach me to work with her. Instead, I got, she’s aggressive. I was told many other things about Chili that just were not true. For example, she’s not the type of dog that you can send to daycare or that you can take to a dog park. Don’t play tug of war with her because she’s stronger than you and will think she’s the boss. They almost had me convinced. Almost. Now I’m just pissed off. It’s time to shake my head and make a move.

It’s funny how things happen. Here I am pissed off and choked for letting myself get screwed and not making the best decisions for Chili. We need a door to open. Oh look, there’s a door, and it’s opening.

I was driving down the highway (you never know where a door might pop up) and I just passed the turnoff to Carol’s house. In case you missed it in an earlier post, Carol was a part of our Chili adoption story and she also knows quite a bit about dogs. She has a Rottweiler and a Papillion. No, she doesn’t just know a lot about dogs because of the dogs she has, she’s done a ton of training with her Rottweiler and has a special interest in caring for dogs. Anyway, driving past her turnoff made me think to call her. We talked for a few minutes and I told her about our training experiences and how frustrated I was. She told me to come on over to her house so we backtracked to Carols.

When we got there, she was already waiting for us in the yard. We chat for a few minutes then I proceed to ‘unload’ Chili from the truck. Jack-in-the-box. I open the cage slowly, then hold her back with my hand, get the leash onto her, open the cage and she flies out of the back of the truck. Ready for action. Carol just looks at me with this ‘you’ve got to be kidding me’ face. She asks, “Is that how you let her out of the truck?” I’m a little stunned. What the hell am I supposed to do? So, Carol loads her back in the truck and into her cage. Then to unload her, she just opened the cage, shoved Chili back when she tried to jump out and made a sound like ‘aghhh’. Chili just looked at her as if she was thinking, “What the hell.” It was like Carol was willing her to stay there. You could see Chili’s mind working through this. Then Carol gently let her out and put her in a sit beside her. What the hell just happened? When did she switch dogs? Was I drugged?

As if that wasn’t impressive enough, she then took the leash and started ‘working’ with Chili. She put her in a ‘heel’ and began walking back and forth and in circles asking Chili to look at her and stay in the heel position. Chili came alive. She had the biggest smile on her face and for the first time looked like she was really enjoying being trained. Honestly, I was stunned and elated. Carol offered to help me on an ongoing basis if I was interested. Are you kidding me, IF I’m interested? Of course I’m interested. I couldn’t wait. That’s how it began; the real story of training Chili. It’s effective, not always pretty, and not just about Chili. It was also about how I had to change to be the mom that Chili really needed.

Saturday 7 May 2011

More Training & Getting to know the Chill


Chili steals Mouses's bed

After what I thought was a disastrous training class due to crazy Chili I felt that we needed a little extra boost to help us along our way. The day after our first class I called Mary, the trainer, and suggested that maybe we needed some one-on-one training. The owner of the company that Mary works for specializes in difficult dogs so I was looking forward to a personalized session. Unfortunately, the owner, Debbie (not her real name), wasn’t available until after the next class so we would have to wait.

Chili & Mouse

In the meantime, I’d been taking Chili to work with me. It didn’t seem right to leave a dog with so much energy at home in a crate all day. This is where she met her first friend, Mouse, a Chihuahua/Terrier cross. Mouse has a big personality so she didn’t even notice that Chili was bigger than her. Chili didn’t seem to notice that Mouse was smaller than her and wanted to play as if they were the same size. To avoid any crushing situations, I would make Chili lay down to play with her. They had fun together and I learned something new about Chili. She didn’t care if Mouse stole her toys, even if she was playing with them, and she didn’t even mind when Mouse tried to steal her bone right out from under her. Sometimes Mouse would just start chewing on one end while Chili was chewing on the other. She can’t be that bad if she’s so good at sharing. I don’t think an aggressive dog would be so into sharing.

The second class was a little better but it was still a wash. At least I didn’t cry the whole way home. A couple of days later we were at our personal session. Debbie was late and when she arrived Chili immediately jumped on her. Rude, I know, Debbie thought so too. She told me that when Chili jumps up, to grab her paws and walk her backwards ten paces. I know that this works with some dogs but it never did really work with Chili. She thought it was a game. Chili thinks lots of training techniques are games. It’s one of the things that I love about her but that also makes me crazy. Like Mary, Debbie also felt that Chili was aggressive. She could just tell. She told me that I had to take charge of Chili and be the boss, she was right about that. She also showed me how to put Chili in a side hold and said that I had to do this for 30 minutes every night. And, when Chili goes to lunge, I should let her get to the end of the leash and self correct. And, I was shown how to wrap the leash down her back and around her belly for more control when she lunged. This also let me use the leash to pick her up from the back end or to pick her up completely. Hmmm. I don’t know about this.

So, here I go with some new techniques. I walked Chili with the lead wrapped around her belly and used it to carry her away from incidents. How did I feel about this? Like a complete and total idiot. This wasn’t what I wanted out of training. I didn’t want a band-aid, I wanted to learn to walk her and stop her lunging. I don’t plan to walk her with the leash wrapped around her belly forever. Besides, I was worried about her getting hurt from having it wrapped around her belly. I was not comfortable with this at all. The self correction wasn’t providing results either. She didn’t care that she wrenched herself when she got to the end of the leash. She’s a tough girl and didn’t feel a thing.

We made a few other observations about Chili during that time. She’s a very gentle girl and there’s not a whole lot that bugs her. When we would play with her, she learned very quickly not to bite down. The moment she felt our hands in her mouth, she would back off. You can also poke and prod at her and she just puts up with it. Even at the vet’s office, and even when she gets her temperature taken at her back end. She really is a good natured girl. From the first day we got her, neither one of us has ever been afraid of her. She may be bratty sometimes, but there’s not a mean bone in her.

By now, the voices in my head are starting to scream. I need to look at this training in a whole new way. I really do need to trust myself and have a voice. I may not be a trainer but I’m not stupid either. From now on, I’m going to open my mouth and question things. Chili may lunge on leash at dogs but there are so many other things about her that tell me that she’s not aggressive. Things are going to be different.