The Great Doggie Daycare Search: Part 1

An emotional event in any proud parents life, the first day of daycare. Will the others like her? Will the teachers watch over her and make sure she’s safe? Will she miss me and wonder where I am? Will she want to come home at the end of the day? My little angel is off to daycare. OK, wait. Before I get to that, let’s talk about the whole daycare decision.

Chili had way too much energy to leave her at home in her crate all day so I was taking her to work. However,she was way too young and energetic to be a ‘lay on a bed and hang out all day at work dog’. There were too many distractions and she wanted to be a part of everything that was going on. The solution, doggie daycare. You may remember that the first trainer we saw said that Chili was not the kind of dog you send to daycare. Hmmm, we’ll see about that.

There are a lot of daycares out there. The first round of eliminations comes out of a few questions:

1. Do we want to send our dog to an outdoor facility or an indoor facility? We decided that we wanted Chili to be spending her days outdoors. Be a dog. She’s such a playful girl with lots of energy and we could just picture her having tons of fun out in the dirt, rain, and occasional snow.
2. How far out of your way are you willing to travel to drop your dog off at daycare? We both left for work pretty early so we needed something close. Some daycares will pick up your dog at your house, but what if the pick up was after you left for work. We didn’t want to give anyone a key to the house, or leave Chili in the garage, or tie her outside until her ride showed up. Hopefully we could find a place that wasn’t too far out of the way.
3. Do you want a place that also does boarding? We definitely wanted a place that does boarding as well. When we go away, we wanted Chili to be familiar and happy about where she was staying. It was also important that we have a relationship with the people that will be taking care of her.

I did some research and we decided to check out 3 different places. The first was a professional facility, although the owners home is on the property, it’s separate from the business. The second was still professional but centered around the couples home, and the third was an at-home daycare facility.

I’ll be honest, I was nervous about leaving Chili with strangers. I was still getting to know her and working on her obedience and I was afraid she wouldn’t be accepted. I was afraid that as soon as we got to the daycares, that she would start lunging at the other dogs and we’d be left with no options.

I called the first place and spoke to a girl named Angie. She said that the first step would be to bring Chili for an ‘interview’ to see how she acts with the other dogs and for us to see if we like the facility and to ask any questions we may have. The day finally came for her interview. When we got there I had to sit for a minute to calm down. I was so nervous. The place had a farm feel with lots of trees but you couldn’t see the dogs. We entered kind of a holding area and rang the buzzer. Angie came down to greet us. She brought us up and around a corner into a building that had another holding area. Chili and I stayed on one side of the gate while 3 other dogs were roaming free inside. Angie had brought 3 well mannered dogs in as test dogs for Chili. The first step was to see how Chili would act on the other side of the gate. This is where I was nervous that she would act up but true to Chili form, she surprised me. She took one look at the other dogs, put her tail between her legs, and hid behind me. I was shocked. Where did this come from? No lunging, no acting up, no crazy, just unsure. I stepped out the way and Angie asked me to remove the lead. Chili stayed calm so it was time to go into the bigger area with the 3 dogs. She was still unsure and tried to hide behind me as the dogs came up to sniff her. I looked to Angie for guidance and she was calm and comfortable with everything that was happening so it relaxed me. I was surprised and happy for Chili. She was doing great. In the field area there must’ve been at least 30 dogs. Some were staring at us with their tails wagging, others were lying in the shade, and others were playing in the kiddie pools. I liked what I saw and more importantly the girls who worked there had a very relaxed and positive vibe. Angie told me that to her it looked like Chili would do fine and she gave me some paper work to fill out if I decided to use their services.

So Chili and I left, although Chili didn’t seem to want to go, and I was excited to tell my husband how Chili passed the interview and did great. Although I liked the place, I still wanted to check out the other facilities. It seemed like a good place but would she really get along well? The future would tell.

The Pinch

You know, it’s interesting, the different points of view on training. What’s right, what’s wrong? If you were to compile it all, I’d bet that most methods would shake out on the same level. The only thing that all camps would probably agree to is that you don’t abuse your dog. Who wouldn’t agree to that? But there’s a debate right there, some would consider almost any kind of correction, or a side hold as abuse. So, what am I getting at? It’s confusing. Most of us are just trying to do our best and work through the challenges we have with our dogs. All dogs are NOT the same. What works for one doesn’t necessarily work for another.

As I worked with Chili at Carol’s house she (Chili that is) was improving but she didn’t always listen. Carol had suggested that I use a pinch/prong collar on her. I didn’t agree right away because that’s mean, isn’t it? There it is. Another belief hurdle to overcome. Is a pinch collar abusive? I had to really consider this since it was vital for me to overcome the challenges we were having. In order to make the decision, I had to know more about the pinch collar. Carol explained how it’s used. It’s supposed to be worn high on the neck and snug. It shouldn’t spin when you make a correction, but it shouldn’t be choking either. When you make a correction, it should be quick and firm to get the dogs attention, just like any other leash correction. She showed me how it felt on my arm. Now, if I keep doing what I’m doing, I’m going to keep getting what I’m getting. I’ll try the pinch collar.

As I think back now, I’m glad that I tried it. I firmly believe that there is a collar for every dog. The challenge is to have the guts to try, give a fair evaluation, and make a final decision on whether or not it works for your particular dog. The process isn’t easy and can be defeating at times. The choke was successful most times, when there wasn’t an overwhelming distraction of an oncoming dog. At that time, Chili was still lunging at pretty much every oncoming dog. Even with the pinch on. She just didn’t seem to care. When you start a correction, you’re not supposed to give up until your dog does what you ask. Otherwise, you reinforce that behaviour. My first altercation with another dog owner, that I still feel absolutely sick about, was in regards to this.

We were in the park, and a lady was walking towards us with her dog off leash. I veered off to the side to put some distance between us. Chili would not avert her stare, no matter how hard I corrected her. These moments happen quickly but feel like forever. I was frustrated and kept correcting her using even harder tugs. She just wouldn’t stop. Why? She’s wearing a pinch collar, why isn’t she stopping? The woman quite pointedly told me that I was being harsh with my dog. I shot back that she didn’t know anything about me or my dog. I wanted to cry. Afterwards I was thinking how easy it must be for some people to judge those of us who don’t have easy dogs. Looking down on us because our dogs are misbehaving and never once considering that there might be a whole other story behind what they see. They don’t see how much time, effort, and money has been spent working with the dog, how much the dog and owner have improved, and how their ignorance can cause a setback.

You may be wondering why I would even tell that story. Well, it was a lesson learned. I still feel the pain of the moment and I feel shame. I love my dog and that moment was an example of frustration on my part and not knowing how to handle the situation. Not knowing the next step of what to do if she didn’t respond to the correction. Not being experienced enough to ‘switch gears’ as the moment demanded. Even at the time, it didn’t feel good, but I thought that I had to follow through or I would be reinforcing the bad behaviour. Imagine if I had let this defeat me. Imagine if after that moment, I had decided that it was all too much? That, would have been the ultimate let down to Chili. I’m telling this so you will see that you’re not the only who makes mistakes, and to tell you to not let it beat you. I can gladly say that there haven’t been many of these moments but you have to pick yourself up and learn the lesson that’s in front of you. Although I didn’t stop using the pinch collar that day, since I believed that the failure was all mine, I did stop using it later. After evaluating with a more experienced eye, I realized that although it helped in her general obedience, when it came to oncoming dogs, the correction on the pinch seemed to make her worse. Ultimately, this was not the right tool for her. It does work wonders for other dogs, but not Chili. All dogs are not created equal.

Remember, some things will take one session to overcome, other things, will take years. Never give up.

Tug-Of-War

Do you play tug-of-war with your dog? I do. If you’ve read some of my earlier posts, you’ll remember that our first trainer recommended against playing tug-of-war. Since then, I’ve read and seen that a lot of other trainers don’t recommend it either. The thought is that as the dog grows and becomes stronger, you will lose the game and in turn, lose your leader position. Suddenly, your dog is looking down on you. OK, I can see how this can happen, considering how big and strong some dogs grow. However, what if I want to play tug-of-war? What then?

I like options. I would prefer to be told, “If you want to (fill this in with whatever you want to do), then you’re going to have to (fill this in with a description of the hard work), and if you’re not prepared to do that, then forget it.” Take this seriously. If you really aren’t prepared to do the work, then don’t fail the dog by giving half effort. In the end, it’s the dog that pays. I do acknowledge that there are things that don’t have an option. Where there is only one route. I can live with that, as long as I’m told why.

Remember, I have a VERY strong Boxweiler (Rottweiler/Boxer cross) who has no problem taking over and being pushy. She certainly has the power behind her to do it at any time, but she doesn’t, anymore. Well, most times. It’s a never ending process. I’ve invested a lot of time, hard work, and tears to get this dog to respect me. I don’t want to do anything to lose what I’ve gained, at least not intentionally. A large part of our success came from marrying the obedience training and play. Of course, it’s all tied together. Isn’t it? You can’t have one without the other.

I was very lucky to be taught how to play with Chili in the right way, before I even realized there was a wrong way. If you don’t understand what I mean, then you must have a naturally submissive dog. I was taught to not give up my leader position. Besides, like I said, I’ve worked my ass off to get it and I’m not letting some punk Boxweiler take it away, even if she throws her cutest at me. When we play tug-of-war, I do let her win sometimes. What fun would it be for her if she didn’t? Then, I win. Then to add some obedience in the mix, I stop the game in mid play. As she tugs, I tell her to ‘stop’ and then ‘out’ or ‘drop it’. Once she lets go of the item, I tell her to ‘sit’, then I usually walk backwards from her and say ‘ready’, then I throw the item to her and we start playing again. I like that she is able to give up the tug item in mid play and acknowledge that I have control. I love watching her when she’s really into the game, it’s like a wave goes down her back as she puts her whole body into it. I can’t help but laugh. Although when she’s really into it, if she wasn’t trained to let go, I wouldn’t win.

None of the successes we’ve had have come easy. It’s probably the hardest and most mentally challenging work I’ve ever done. You can’t ask the dog why it’s doing something or why it won’t do something. You just have to figure it out and try, try, try. Sometimes the answer comes in the very first technique you try and other times it comes in the tenth technique. Have patience, it will come, but never give up.

Let's Play Ball

There has to be balance in training. An hour can be a long time for a dog (and not just the dog) to have to be focused, so Chili would get a play break about every 10 minutes. It didn’t take long for us to see that she didn’t really know how to play. You may wonder how I didn’t notice this before. Didn’t I play with her? Well, our previous dog, Ruby, didn’t play. I believe she thought she was above it. She would only fetch sticks that met her strict criteria for size and shape, and she would only fetch them if they were thrown into the water. She wouldn’t quite fetch them as chew on them and maybe bring them back to you, if you were lucky. So, I wasn’t used to playing with a dog. Chili had some toys that she chewed on but she didn’t really play with us.

I quickly learned that play is another opportunity to become a team with your dog and show them that you can be fun too. In the beginning, when we would throw a ball for her she would just stand there and kind of watch it roll away. We had to draw her into the game and get her excited by being animated and pushing on her and bumping into her while getting her attention on the ball. At first she didn’t know what was happening, then she started to catch on and it became fun. Even though we were playing, we were also training. With Chili, this is important because when she sees an opening to get her own way and be the boss, she takes it. Kind of like her mom.

So, playtime was also training time. In the beginning, we had a hard time getting her to give up the ball. She’s very headstrong so when she had it, she didn’t want to let go. To get her to let go, I would fold her top lip under her teeth, and tell her to either ‘drop it’ or ‘out’. (This is meant to be uncomfortable, not painful. She had to know that when I said ‘drop it’ or ‘out’ that she has to listen, no matter what’s in her mouth.) Then when I throw the ball sometimes I let her just go after it, and other times I throw it and make her stay until I say ‘ok’. This helps her practice self control. Just because something moves, it doesn't mean she has to chase it. We’re at the point now where if she gets a little overexcited, I just give her a simple voice command or a look and she's back in line. The bunnies that hang out in the yard really appreciate this. When she gets 'the look' it’s funny to watch her and hard for me to keep a straight face because when she looks back at me you can see the wheels turning in her head as she realizes that she not getting her own way.

We all have fun when we play and she’s such a goofball to watch. No matter how many times she does the same stupid thing, I can’t help but laugh. She especially loves playing with the soccer balls. As soon as we go near them, she does a few leaps like she’s some kind of gazelle. Then she grabs a ball, runs over to you and just throws it at you and looks from the ball to you to the ball, until you kick it. She’s great at blocking kicks and if one gets by her, she’ll usually jump around and snatch it out of the air. You can see the focus on her face and how she’s anticipating your moves. She’s so fast and ends up with a soccer ball off the side of the head sometimes but she doesn’t care. She’s a happy girl and as far as she’s concerned, it’s all good.