Time to Reflect

I think it’s time to reflect on where we were and how far we had come. It did seem that we would never progress beyond full-time crazy, but there we were, only part-time crazy. That’s progress. We were walking in a somewhat civilized manner, she was responding better to verbal commands, I actually found time to breathe, and daycare was working out great. We did still have a couple of problems. First, was her high prey drive which caused her to go nuts and launch herself at the windows when she saw a squirrel or rabbit in the yard or even when we were just out, and second were her lunging and overall poor manners when greeting other dogs. These were problems that just didn’t seem to want to go away. Now and again they would start to improve, only to reappear as if they just went on vacation or something.

I must admit that I was confused. Chili loves other dogs. At daycare she plays and plays and plays. She’s popular, doesn’t discriminate as she plays with any dog that will play with her, and has a ton of fun. When we’re at the dog park and she has been properly greeted to another dog, again she just plays and plays. However, walk her down the street, and she lunges at every oncoming dog. What the...??? I don’t get it. Yes, I do admit that since this had been an ongoing problem that I would tense up when I saw another dog. It was hard not to. I had control but it wasn’t pretty and most other dog owners wouldn’t make it easier. Most would look at us as if I was allowing, or fostering the behaviour. Sometimes I felt like not even leaving the house for a walk but what would that accomplish? Nothing. The only way to progress was to go out into the world and try everything I could to make things work out.

Then there was the high prey drive. We could be casually doing anything and having a calm and wonderful time when suddenly she’d just bolt and try dragging me behind her. Even though she thought she had the element of surprise, she was wrong. I’d say that most times, I was prepared. I knew that she had the tendency to just fly at a moment’s notice so I guess I was never really at ease. The bolting was hard on my body. Something in me would always have the strength to hold onto the lead and not let go, no matter what. I think it’s just an instinct because I knew that as long as I held on, she couldn’t get into too much trouble, even though it was hard on me.

Now, her greetings with other dogs were the equivalent of a human saying hello by running up to someone and body checking them. She would run full-on up to the dogs face and then stop short, or body check them from the side. Not a greeting that was typically appreciated by the other dogs. To avoid this I would facilitate the greeting with the first dog. I would keep her on leash and let the other dog approach us. Then guide her to not get nose to nose but to sniff bums. Then I would just watch and assess the situation. If everything seemed OK, I would let them play. After the first dog greeting, usually the rest of them went fine. It was like she needed the first greeting as an ice breaker.

So that’s where we were. I would estimate that at this point we had her for over a year. Even though there were still issues, we had taken great leaps forward. Patience was key and when it comes to Chili, I have a lot. She’s a loveable goofball, not so elegant, with a touch of crazy, and when she looks at us with her happy face, we can’t help but melt. It may take an unknown amount of years to go by before we’ve solved the mysteries of Chili but I’ll wait. She’s worth it.

Training at the Dog Park

If you really want to see how far you’re coming along with your training, you need to get out of your nice safe training place and see how you fare against real life. We chose the dog park. Your dog may be an angel at your usual training spot but once you get them to a high distraction area (one that has dogs playing, balls rolling, water splashing, and bunnies hopping) you really don’t know just how trained they are. Will she remember anything, or just be so focused on everything else going on around her that it feels like we’re back at step one? I don’t know if I could take that. Reverting back to the beginning. On second thought, I know I can't take it.

We would bring her long line so we could throw the ball for her a short distance and give her a bit of freedom. There were usually dogs around the field but we were able to keep her attention most of the time. In the beginning, she did make a couple of escape attempts when she saw other dogs. Have you ever had a nylon leash rush through your hands as you desperately grip it? It doesn’t feel good, at all. Quick lesson. If you’re using a long line and you don’t want to end up with major rope burns, knot your line ever few feet so your hands have something to grip. Oh, and another lesson. Have you ever been told to stand on the dogs leash so they can’t get away? Well, that might work when you have a mini dog or if you have a big dog but you weigh a lot more than they do. However, if you have a strong and fast dog, and you weigh less than double their weight, I wouldn’t recommend it. Yes, I was quickly sent straight to the ground and directly into the mud. Of course people saw it. This type of thing never happens when there’s no audience.

Although there were a few glitches, training at the dog park was a great experience. Chili would constantly surprise me with her obedience. She made some dog friends and they became part of the training as well. We would let her play with her friends for a bit, then do a bit of obedience. She didn't like stopping to train but it wasn't her choice. One of her friends was a Mastiff/Great Dane cross. A beautiful dog with a great personality. Picture this. Chili and I walking side by side as she pranced and looked up at me with her happy face. Then, a big Mastiff/Great Dane cross bounds up to us and starts bouncing around me trying desperately to get a treat. Chili barely flinched. She just kept up her focus the whole time. It was beautiful. This is the best kind of training, real world.

Even though Chili was showing me that she was progressing I still couldn’t let her loose. I just would not let go of the end of that leash or long line. Even when she was playing. Actually, I did try trusting her a couple of times but she ignored me if she was with her friends and I would tell her to come. So there I was, trailing behind her holding onto the leash as she ran around playing. As I think back, I must’ve looked like a complete nut job. Just another crazy dog lady. What was I thinking? I was thinking that I didn’t want to lose her and the only way to prevent that was to be attached. I also knew that she didn’t have the best greeting manners and was afraid that she would end up disrespecting the wrong dog and end up in a fight. I had to protect her. It was and always will be my job. I take my role seriously. Sometimes too seriously and I let my fears take control. All that does is slow down the progress. It’s great to be aware but letting fear rule will get you nowhere. That's a lesson that took me a long time to learn.

The Great Doggie Daycare Search: Part 3

The last daycare sounded very promising on the phone. It was a home daycare and the woman sounded like she knew what she was doing. She talked the talk at least. To top it all off, it was $5 cheaper per day than the other daycares. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “if it sounds too good to be true, then it is?” Right.
We arrived at her home at the predetermined time, or so I thought. She didn’t seem to know why we were there and after a few minutes of discussion she informed us that we were there on the wrong day. Hmmm, Ok, so...... Fortunately we were able to still check it out and not have to come back later. Fortunately???

I was getting a bad feeling about how this was going to turn out and as we entered the backyard my feelings were starting to be confirmed. There were a couple of dogs in the yard and a young girl who was picking up teddy bear stuffing. There was stuffing everywhere. I guess she would sometimes give the dogs cheap teddy bears to play with and this was the aftermath. Isn’t she worried that one or more of the dogs would swallow the stuffing? There was also a small barn in the yard where she would keep dogs that got out of hand. I wasn’t impressed. Since this was a home daycare, I wondered how she spent her day. I asked if she was outside with the dogs all day. She wasn’t. She did have a pop bottle filled with coins that she would come out and shake when the dogs started making noise. That was something (insert sarcasm here). Then there was the great kennel space. Translation, a dark, smelly basement with a bunch of couches.

I struggled to come to terms with how someone would choose to leave their dog at this place. Did the dogs look unhappy? No. At least I don’t think so. Anyway, this was definitely not the place for Chili. We couldn’t get out of there quick enough.

In order to make a final decision we revisited the first daycare again. We both felt that this was the best place for Chili and we were confident that she would be taken care of and that she would have fun. It turned out to be the right decision. The staff at Pet Pampering has been great and Chili loves it. She’s excited to arrive and she’s equally happy to see us at the end of the day when we pick her up. The girls let us know when she’s been bratty and when she’s not feeling her best. They also seem genuine about their love of dogs and I’ve learned even more about Chili from listening to their stories.

Although I’m happy with taking Chili to daycare, as I look back there was one habit that we fell into that wasn’t good. Chili would play all day, then come home and eat, then sleep. She was too tired to spend time with us and we were tired from working all day so were happy that she didn’t need any further exercise. Even though I would train with her, on the off nights I should have been taking her for at least a 20 minute walk to provide consistent daily structure. Daycares certainly do get the job done and fill the need when your dog is too energetic to spend their days at home alone. Just remember that your dog also needs your attention, leadership and structure.

Chili is a very social girl and gets along great at daycare. Not all dogs have the temperament for it. Ask questions and listen to the feedback that the daycare staff is giving you. Your dog may not be a good candidate for daycare. Don’t force your dog to endure something that puts them in a state of anxiety or makes them uneasy just because it’s convenient for you. You may have to consider other options. If you’re having doubts, talk to a professional who is open and can guide you in supporting your dog and finding the best solutions for them while you’re at work. We like working with Michele at Connective Training in Victoria for our training needs. A good trainer can make all the difference in the relationship between you and your dog.

The Great Doggie Daycare Search: Part 2

With a successful beginning to our search I was feeling pretty good about things. Of course there were concerns, but I was going with my gut and I felt that daycare was the right place for Chili. Now it was off to check out the second place. This daycare was located further away than the first one but looked good on first impression. The whole property was the daycare. It was beautiful with lots of trees and space. Again, I could see Chili having a good time there. There were only about 3 dogs on the property when we visited but I believe they had up to a dozen during the days. It was clean and the couple seemed very nice. My biggest concern here was that the dogs weren’t always watched. If the people were on one side of the property, the dogs could be on the other side, doing whatever they pleased. One thing that I know about Chili, she can’t be left to her own devices. That would spell trouble. Also, it wasn’t located in a convenient place for dropping her off in the morning. Again, Chili was pretty good. She seemed more comfortable at the first daycare we visited but she did OK at this one.

Not everyone thinks that doggie daycares are good places. There is definitely a huge element of trust that comes with leaving your dog in someone else’s care, especially when you add a bunch of other dogs to the mix. Some of the questions I was asked by people were:

Do they allow Pit Bulls at the daycares?
Now, I would be lying if I said I had absolutely no reservations about Pit Bulls. At that point I had never known a Pit Bull and there are a lot of people and stories out there to keep you fearful of them. But, I love animals and it just doesn’t seem right that EVERY Pit Bull was bad. They can’t be. The first daycare allowed them, but the second didn’t. I would not let this be a deciding factor.

How is it possible for them to watch so many dogs?
The first daycare had staff and there was always someone out in the field monitoring the dogs, armed with a hose. I like that someone is watching them at all times. Do they see every little thing that every dog does, probably not. Let’s be realistic, at least they are always being monitored. At the second daycare the dogs weren’t monitored at all times. Problems can only be dealt with if you know they’re there, and you have to be watching to know.

Isn’t it inevitable that Chili will get bitten or that she’ll end up in a fight?
Maybe. She could get bitten or get into a fight on a walk or at the dog park. At least in a daycare, the staff knows each of the dogs and learn how to recognize problems before they arise. I won’t be naive and say it never happens, but hopefully it won’t be Chili.

Do you think you should have them keep her on her own?
Then what’s the point of bringing her to daycare? So she can watch the other dogs have fun while she sits alone? I don’t think so.

Maybe she’d be safer if you left her at a kennel?
That would defeat the purpose of having her energy drained. Why pay someone to kennel her when she has a kennel at home. That’s no life for Chili. She’s a very social girl.

No matter what, I get to choose. It’s my decision. So far, I’m leaning towards the first daycare but we still have one more place to see. I think that taking Chili to daycare is going to be great for her. She’ll get to play all day with other dogs and be Chili. She’ll get exposure to other breeds, sizes, ages, and temperaments and will help to get her better socialized. It’ll also be good for me. She hasn’t left my side since we got her and there has to be balance in life. I need time for me as well.

So, what’s next? A visit to the last daycare and then a decision.

The Great Doggie Daycare Search: Part 1

An emotional event in any proud parents life, the first day of daycare. Will the others like her? Will the teachers watch over her and make sure she’s safe? Will she miss me and wonder where I am? Will she want to come home at the end of the day? My little angel is off to daycare. OK, wait. Before I get to that, let’s talk about the whole daycare decision.

Chili had way too much energy to leave her at home in her crate all day so I was taking her to work. However,she was way too young and energetic to be a ‘lay on a bed and hang out all day at work dog’. There were too many distractions and she wanted to be a part of everything that was going on. The solution, doggie daycare. You may remember that the first trainer we saw said that Chili was not the kind of dog you send to daycare. Hmmm, we’ll see about that.

There are a lot of daycares out there. The first round of eliminations comes out of a few questions:

1. Do we want to send our dog to an outdoor facility or an indoor facility? We decided that we wanted Chili to be spending her days outdoors. Be a dog. She’s such a playful girl with lots of energy and we could just picture her having tons of fun out in the dirt, rain, and occasional snow.
2. How far out of your way are you willing to travel to drop your dog off at daycare? We both left for work pretty early so we needed something close. Some daycares will pick up your dog at your house, but what if the pick up was after you left for work. We didn’t want to give anyone a key to the house, or leave Chili in the garage, or tie her outside until her ride showed up. Hopefully we could find a place that wasn’t too far out of the way.
3. Do you want a place that also does boarding? We definitely wanted a place that does boarding as well. When we go away, we wanted Chili to be familiar and happy about where she was staying. It was also important that we have a relationship with the people that will be taking care of her.

I did some research and we decided to check out 3 different places. The first was a professional facility, although the owners home is on the property, it’s separate from the business. The second was still professional but centered around the couples home, and the third was an at-home daycare facility.

I’ll be honest, I was nervous about leaving Chili with strangers. I was still getting to know her and working on her obedience and I was afraid she wouldn’t be accepted. I was afraid that as soon as we got to the daycares, that she would start lunging at the other dogs and we’d be left with no options.

I called the first place and spoke to a girl named Angie. She said that the first step would be to bring Chili for an ‘interview’ to see how she acts with the other dogs and for us to see if we like the facility and to ask any questions we may have. The day finally came for her interview. When we got there I had to sit for a minute to calm down. I was so nervous. The place had a farm feel with lots of trees but you couldn’t see the dogs. We entered kind of a holding area and rang the buzzer. Angie came down to greet us. She brought us up and around a corner into a building that had another holding area. Chili and I stayed on one side of the gate while 3 other dogs were roaming free inside. Angie had brought 3 well mannered dogs in as test dogs for Chili. The first step was to see how Chili would act on the other side of the gate. This is where I was nervous that she would act up but true to Chili form, she surprised me. She took one look at the other dogs, put her tail between her legs, and hid behind me. I was shocked. Where did this come from? No lunging, no acting up, no crazy, just unsure. I stepped out the way and Angie asked me to remove the lead. Chili stayed calm so it was time to go into the bigger area with the 3 dogs. She was still unsure and tried to hide behind me as the dogs came up to sniff her. I looked to Angie for guidance and she was calm and comfortable with everything that was happening so it relaxed me. I was surprised and happy for Chili. She was doing great. In the field area there must’ve been at least 30 dogs. Some were staring at us with their tails wagging, others were lying in the shade, and others were playing in the kiddie pools. I liked what I saw and more importantly the girls who worked there had a very relaxed and positive vibe. Angie told me that to her it looked like Chili would do fine and she gave me some paper work to fill out if I decided to use their services.

So Chili and I left, although Chili didn’t seem to want to go, and I was excited to tell my husband how Chili passed the interview and did great. Although I liked the place, I still wanted to check out the other facilities. It seemed like a good place but would she really get along well? The future would tell.

The Pinch

You know, it’s interesting, the different points of view on training. What’s right, what’s wrong? If you were to compile it all, I’d bet that most methods would shake out on the same level. The only thing that all camps would probably agree to is that you don’t abuse your dog. Who wouldn’t agree to that? But there’s a debate right there, some would consider almost any kind of correction, or a side hold as abuse. So, what am I getting at? It’s confusing. Most of us are just trying to do our best and work through the challenges we have with our dogs. All dogs are NOT the same. What works for one doesn’t necessarily work for another.

As I worked with Chili at Carol’s house she (Chili that is) was improving but she didn’t always listen. Carol had suggested that I use a pinch/prong collar on her. I didn’t agree right away because that’s mean, isn’t it? There it is. Another belief hurdle to overcome. Is a pinch collar abusive? I had to really consider this since it was vital for me to overcome the challenges we were having. In order to make the decision, I had to know more about the pinch collar. Carol explained how it’s used. It’s supposed to be worn high on the neck and snug. It shouldn’t spin when you make a correction, but it shouldn’t be choking either. When you make a correction, it should be quick and firm to get the dogs attention, just like any other leash correction. She showed me how it felt on my arm. Now, if I keep doing what I’m doing, I’m going to keep getting what I’m getting. I’ll try the pinch collar.

As I think back now, I’m glad that I tried it. I firmly believe that there is a collar for every dog. The challenge is to have the guts to try, give a fair evaluation, and make a final decision on whether or not it works for your particular dog. The process isn’t easy and can be defeating at times. The choke was successful most times, when there wasn’t an overwhelming distraction of an oncoming dog. At that time, Chili was still lunging at pretty much every oncoming dog. Even with the pinch on. She just didn’t seem to care. When you start a correction, you’re not supposed to give up until your dog does what you ask. Otherwise, you reinforce that behaviour. My first altercation with another dog owner, that I still feel absolutely sick about, was in regards to this.

We were in the park, and a lady was walking towards us with her dog off leash. I veered off to the side to put some distance between us. Chili would not avert her stare, no matter how hard I corrected her. These moments happen quickly but feel like forever. I was frustrated and kept correcting her using even harder tugs. She just wouldn’t stop. Why? She’s wearing a pinch collar, why isn’t she stopping? The woman quite pointedly told me that I was being harsh with my dog. I shot back that she didn’t know anything about me or my dog. I wanted to cry. Afterwards I was thinking how easy it must be for some people to judge those of us who don’t have easy dogs. Looking down on us because our dogs are misbehaving and never once considering that there might be a whole other story behind what they see. They don’t see how much time, effort, and money has been spent working with the dog, how much the dog and owner have improved, and how their ignorance can cause a setback.

You may be wondering why I would even tell that story. Well, it was a lesson learned. I still feel the pain of the moment and I feel shame. I love my dog and that moment was an example of frustration on my part and not knowing how to handle the situation. Not knowing the next step of what to do if she didn’t respond to the correction. Not being experienced enough to ‘switch gears’ as the moment demanded. Even at the time, it didn’t feel good, but I thought that I had to follow through or I would be reinforcing the bad behaviour. Imagine if I had let this defeat me. Imagine if after that moment, I had decided that it was all too much? That, would have been the ultimate let down to Chili. I’m telling this so you will see that you’re not the only who makes mistakes, and to tell you to not let it beat you. I can gladly say that there haven’t been many of these moments but you have to pick yourself up and learn the lesson that’s in front of you. Although I didn’t stop using the pinch collar that day, since I believed that the failure was all mine, I did stop using it later. After evaluating with a more experienced eye, I realized that although it helped in her general obedience, when it came to oncoming dogs, the correction on the pinch seemed to make her worse. Ultimately, this was not the right tool for her. It does work wonders for other dogs, but not Chili. All dogs are not created equal.

Remember, some things will take one session to overcome, other things, will take years. Never give up.

Tug-Of-War

Do you play tug-of-war with your dog? I do. If you’ve read some of my earlier posts, you’ll remember that our first trainer recommended against playing tug-of-war. Since then, I’ve read and seen that a lot of other trainers don’t recommend it either. The thought is that as the dog grows and becomes stronger, you will lose the game and in turn, lose your leader position. Suddenly, your dog is looking down on you. OK, I can see how this can happen, considering how big and strong some dogs grow. However, what if I want to play tug-of-war? What then?

I like options. I would prefer to be told, “If you want to (fill this in with whatever you want to do), then you’re going to have to (fill this in with a description of the hard work), and if you’re not prepared to do that, then forget it.” Take this seriously. If you really aren’t prepared to do the work, then don’t fail the dog by giving half effort. In the end, it’s the dog that pays. I do acknowledge that there are things that don’t have an option. Where there is only one route. I can live with that, as long as I’m told why.

Remember, I have a VERY strong Boxweiler (Rottweiler/Boxer cross) who has no problem taking over and being pushy. She certainly has the power behind her to do it at any time, but she doesn’t, anymore. Well, most times. It’s a never ending process. I’ve invested a lot of time, hard work, and tears to get this dog to respect me. I don’t want to do anything to lose what I’ve gained, at least not intentionally. A large part of our success came from marrying the obedience training and play. Of course, it’s all tied together. Isn’t it? You can’t have one without the other.

I was very lucky to be taught how to play with Chili in the right way, before I even realized there was a wrong way. If you don’t understand what I mean, then you must have a naturally submissive dog. I was taught to not give up my leader position. Besides, like I said, I’ve worked my ass off to get it and I’m not letting some punk Boxweiler take it away, even if she throws her cutest at me. When we play tug-of-war, I do let her win sometimes. What fun would it be for her if she didn’t? Then, I win. Then to add some obedience in the mix, I stop the game in mid play. As she tugs, I tell her to ‘stop’ and then ‘out’ or ‘drop it’. Once she lets go of the item, I tell her to ‘sit’, then I usually walk backwards from her and say ‘ready’, then I throw the item to her and we start playing again. I like that she is able to give up the tug item in mid play and acknowledge that I have control. I love watching her when she’s really into the game, it’s like a wave goes down her back as she puts her whole body into it. I can’t help but laugh. Although when she’s really into it, if she wasn’t trained to let go, I wouldn’t win.

None of the successes we’ve had have come easy. It’s probably the hardest and most mentally challenging work I’ve ever done. You can’t ask the dog why it’s doing something or why it won’t do something. You just have to figure it out and try, try, try. Sometimes the answer comes in the very first technique you try and other times it comes in the tenth technique. Have patience, it will come, but never give up.

Let's Play Ball

There has to be balance in training. An hour can be a long time for a dog (and not just the dog) to have to be focused, so Chili would get a play break about every 10 minutes. It didn’t take long for us to see that she didn’t really know how to play. You may wonder how I didn’t notice this before. Didn’t I play with her? Well, our previous dog, Ruby, didn’t play. I believe she thought she was above it. She would only fetch sticks that met her strict criteria for size and shape, and she would only fetch them if they were thrown into the water. She wouldn’t quite fetch them as chew on them and maybe bring them back to you, if you were lucky. So, I wasn’t used to playing with a dog. Chili had some toys that she chewed on but she didn’t really play with us.

I quickly learned that play is another opportunity to become a team with your dog and show them that you can be fun too. In the beginning, when we would throw a ball for her she would just stand there and kind of watch it roll away. We had to draw her into the game and get her excited by being animated and pushing on her and bumping into her while getting her attention on the ball. At first she didn’t know what was happening, then she started to catch on and it became fun. Even though we were playing, we were also training. With Chili, this is important because when she sees an opening to get her own way and be the boss, she takes it. Kind of like her mom.

So, playtime was also training time. In the beginning, we had a hard time getting her to give up the ball. She’s very headstrong so when she had it, she didn’t want to let go. To get her to let go, I would fold her top lip under her teeth, and tell her to either ‘drop it’ or ‘out’. (This is meant to be uncomfortable, not painful. She had to know that when I said ‘drop it’ or ‘out’ that she has to listen, no matter what’s in her mouth.) Then when I throw the ball sometimes I let her just go after it, and other times I throw it and make her stay until I say ‘ok’. This helps her practice self control. Just because something moves, it doesn't mean she has to chase it. We’re at the point now where if she gets a little overexcited, I just give her a simple voice command or a look and she's back in line. The bunnies that hang out in the yard really appreciate this. When she gets 'the look' it’s funny to watch her and hard for me to keep a straight face because when she looks back at me you can see the wheels turning in her head as she realizes that she not getting her own way.

We all have fun when we play and she’s such a goofball to watch. No matter how many times she does the same stupid thing, I can’t help but laugh. She especially loves playing with the soccer balls. As soon as we go near them, she does a few leaps like she’s some kind of gazelle. Then she grabs a ball, runs over to you and just throws it at you and looks from the ball to you to the ball, until you kick it. She’s great at blocking kicks and if one gets by her, she’ll usually jump around and snatch it out of the air. You can see the focus on her face and how she’s anticipating your moves. She’s so fast and ends up with a soccer ball off the side of the head sometimes but she doesn’t care. She’s a happy girl and as far as she’s concerned, it’s all good.

Get Over It

I wish I had thought to record some of these sessions. Just as a way of reminding myself how far we have come. I can only imagine how we must have looked. Me and Chili stumbling around Carol’s driveway. What she was teaching us was based on Schutzhund Obedience Training. If you’ve never seen a dog that’s trained in this, I highly recommend that you look it up on YouTube. It’s very impressive to watch the teamwork and connection between the dog and handler. Come to think of it, I should work on this more with Chili. She was really progressing and has a beautiful prance when she heels. However, at the time, we were laughable. I’m going in one direction and Chili’s trying to drag me in another. We certainly weren’t a good example of obedience. Poor Chili, relying on me for direction. Of course she wasn’t going to listen to me until I stepped up and became the leader. She was the natural and I had to work my ass off. Carol must have had a stiff drink after these sessions.

As I’ve explained before, I was so afraid of hurting Chili that I practically paralyzed myself when it came to being the leader. I couldn’t even make a correction with any kind of authority. The best way to describe it is that I was being more of an annoyance to her than getting her attention. In the beginning when Carol would do it, I would cringe and think, “My poor little girl.” Then I opened my eyes, got my head together and finally realized that Chili wasn’t getting hurt. She didn’t look or act hurt at all. She would just stop goofing around and start paying attention. She would, and still will, push to see how much she could get away with. She’s a very cheeky girl. With me, she would look around and find things to sniff or scratch, avoiding whatever I was asking her to do and basically giving me the dog version of the finger. But with Carol, she would pay attention and work. You could see her smiling and being proud of herself the whole time. Chili wasn’t a fragile little flower. She’s a brainy brat who’s playing me and the only way I would get her respect is if I told her what I wanted and didn’t accept no, or ‘in a minute’, for an answer. It has to be my way, not hers.

I guess you could call this one of my biggest revelations. Finally realizing that I had to ‘get over it’ and just work with my dog. I always knew it but I just didn’t know how to flick that switch in my brain. It didn’t occur to me that I could get control through working as a team with Chili. At that time we were training at Carol’s twice a week for an hour each night. We practiced heeling, long downs, walking backwards, and especially focus. Focus, focus, focus. Everything relied on her focusing on me. To train Chili to look at me I would put carrot pieces in my mouth, then I would tell her ‘me’ and when she looked I would spit a carrot at her. This got her looking directly at me. Luckily she loved carrots because there was no way I was putting dog treats in my mouth. We practiced this a lot, and it worked. Chili is a very smart girl and was catching onto things quickly. She was still trying to get away with doing her own thing but I was starting to get better at catching her attention. We were progressing, and what do you know, there could actually be a light at the end.

DNA Testing & Training Me

When we adopted Chili, all we knew about her breed was that she was a Rottweiler cross. We wanted to know what the cross was, so we decided to get her DNA tested. I didn’t even know this could be done unless you were in a CSI type of situation. A friend told me about it. At the time, it was $75. I think it’s even less now. Many people are sceptical about this process. You don’t need to be. First, the process is simple. You just swab the inside of the dog’s cheek. I guess this isn’t so simple depending on the dog. Luckily for us, Chili just laid there like she usually does when she’s poked at. Then you send the swabs off for testing. You don’t have to tell them anything. You have the option to send your dogs picture if you want it on the certificate but we didn’t. When we got the results back it showed that she was ¾ Rottweiler and ¼ Boxer. Based on her looks and behaviour, I’d say it’s dead on. It was good to know. Now we could read up on both the Rottweiler and Boxer to find out everything we needed to know about her. Almost everything. A guide at least.

Back to my story. Now that I’d decided to work with Carol I was finished with the trainers. They weren’t really giving us what we needed so it was time to drop out of the classes and at least get my money back for the ones we wouldn’t be attending. Yeah, right. I called Mary and let her know how I felt and that they could put the dollars for the unused classes back on my credit card. No go. In their mind, since I’d taken up a spot that could’ve been used by someone else, I would not be getting a refund. She did say I could put the money towards another class. If they weren’t helping me so far, what would make me think that another class would do the trick? OK, yes, I did take up a spot in the class but what about customer satisfaction? What they’re saying is, “Too bad you didn’t like us, and we’re keeping your money.” Of course they didn’t actually say those words but that was the gist of it. It was over. We were done with them and they were keeping our money.

Training is more than words and actions. It’s also about how the words are spoken, the way the action is taken, and the intention behind it. I am a fairly reserved, controlled and level person, but I need to get Chili's attention. Being animated and exaggerated is way outside of my realm. During our first training session Carol is on me about how I’m expressing the commands and holding my body. This is completely different from the other training classes. She can see that there's not much of a connection between me and Chili. She likes me but she doesn't look to me for guidance, or anything, other than to get something she wants. What's holding me back? I’m very gentle because I don’t want to hurt her. I refuse to even drop the leash for a second because I’m afraid she might run away. I’m having a hard time being animated because it feels entirely unnatural and I feel like I look and sound ridiculous. How does all of this sum up? Chili thinks I’m a pushover who doesn’t trust her so she doesn’t trust me and to top it off I’m completely boring to her. Why should she bother even paying attention? This is not a proud moment. It’s obvious that I’m a huge part of the problem. Carol is confident and not afraid of taking charge of Chili. This explains why she has Chili’s complete attention. You might think that all I have to do is mimic her. That’s easier said than done.

I've got a lot of work ahead of me and Chili is going to fight me the whole way. She seems to like being the boss and the fact that she's so cute isn't helping me. However, she's about to learn just how determined I can be.

A New Door Opens

Before I continue with the story, I’d like to say a quick bit about trainers and training. It didn’t start out well for us but as the story continues you will see that I was lucky to end up getting help from a good friend, Carol. I was lucky again later because when I finally decided to trust another trainer I let my ‘gut’ guide me to Michele at Connective Training (real name and company). Now, Chili has a great trainer who has become one of my very best friends. What made the difference? Trusting myself and finding people who care. As I’ve said before, I’m not a trainer so this is just my opinion. Training is really an exercise in patience, observation, and both human and dog psychology. A trainer can work all they want with the dog but if the human doesn’t change - if they can’t get through to the human - all the work is for nothing. I’m nowhere near the dog mom that I was when I started, and I’m so thankful for that. This is due to the people who helped me, or at times, beat me up, along the way.
OK, let’s continue. On we go to our training classes for now at least, and we also go to another private session. Things aren’t coming together. I’m shown techniques that just don’t seem to work for us. I’m frustrated because I really want to be shown how to stop Chili from lunging. I had this idea, yes another idea, that they would have dogs that could work with us in the training. You know, I’m walking Chili while one of them walks by us with their dog and through continual repetition we work through the problem. No, we just roamed around the neighbourhood hoping to run into another dog so we could practice. Waste of time. I also stupidly end up buying a leather leash that I can’t even use from the training company. Every time it gets just a little bit wet, it turns my hands black. That doesn’t work for me. One day, Mary even witnessed the jack-in-the-box unloading of Chili out of the truck. She didn’t say anything. Why didn’t she say anything??

Needless to say, I’m frustrated. I’ve wasted so much time and money and we’re not really getting anywhere. Yes, she’s getting better at the basics but it’s almost as if they’re trying to convince me that she’s aggressive so we’ll keep coming back and paying for more private sessions. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I don’t think they were willing to step outside of their box to help us. Yes, I’ve spoken to many people since then who have had positive results from this company but I’ve also spoken to many people who had the same experience as we did. For us, they missed the point. They were supposed to help Chili by helping teach me to work with her. Instead, I got, she’s aggressive. I was told many other things about Chili that just were not true. For example, she’s not the type of dog that you can send to daycare or that you can take to a dog park. Don’t play tug of war with her because she’s stronger than you and will think she’s the boss. They almost had me convinced. Almost. Now I’m just pissed off. It’s time to shake my head and make a move.

It’s funny how things happen. Here I am pissed off and choked for letting myself get screwed and not making the best decisions for Chili. We need a door to open. Oh look, there’s a door, and it’s opening.

I was driving down the highway (you never know where a door might pop up) and I just passed the turnoff to Carol’s house. In case you missed it in an earlier post, Carol was a part of our Chili adoption story and she also knows quite a bit about dogs. She has a Rottweiler and a Papillion. No, she doesn’t just know a lot about dogs because of the dogs she has, she’s done a ton of training with her Rottweiler and has a special interest in caring for dogs. Anyway, driving past her turnoff made me think to call her. We talked for a few minutes and I told her about our training experiences and how frustrated I was. She told me to come on over to her house so we backtracked to Carols.

When we got there, she was already waiting for us in the yard. We chat for a few minutes then I proceed to ‘unload’ Chili from the truck. Jack-in-the-box. I open the cage slowly, then hold her back with my hand, get the leash onto her, open the cage and she flies out of the back of the truck. Ready for action. Carol just looks at me with this ‘you’ve got to be kidding me’ face. She asks, “Is that how you let her out of the truck?” I’m a little stunned. What the hell am I supposed to do? So, Carol loads her back in the truck and into her cage. Then to unload her, she just opened the cage, shoved Chili back when she tried to jump out and made a sound like ‘aghhh’. Chili just looked at her as if she was thinking, “What the hell.” It was like Carol was willing her to stay there. You could see Chili’s mind working through this. Then Carol gently let her out and put her in a sit beside her. What the hell just happened? When did she switch dogs? Was I drugged?

As if that wasn’t impressive enough, she then took the leash and started ‘working’ with Chili. She put her in a ‘heel’ and began walking back and forth and in circles asking Chili to look at her and stay in the heel position. Chili came alive. She had the biggest smile on her face and for the first time looked like she was really enjoying being trained. Honestly, I was stunned and elated. Carol offered to help me on an ongoing basis if I was interested. Are you kidding me, IF I’m interested? Of course I’m interested. I couldn’t wait. That’s how it began; the real story of training Chili. It’s effective, not always pretty, and not just about Chili. It was also about how I had to change to be the mom that Chili really needed.

More Training & Getting to know the Chill



Chili steals Mouses's bed



After what I thought was a disastrous training class due to crazy Chili I felt that we needed a little extra boost to help us along our way. The day after our first class I called Mary, the trainer, and suggested that maybe we needed some one-on-one training. The owner of the company that Mary works for specializes in difficult dogs so I was looking forward to a personalized session. Unfortunately, the owner, Debbie (not her real name), wasn’t available until after the next class so we would have to wait.



Chili & Mouse



In the meantime, I’d been taking Chili to work with me. It didn’t seem right to leave a dog with so much energy at home in a crate all day. This is where she met her first friend, Mouse, a Chihuahua/Terrier cross. Mouse has a big personality so she didn’t even notice that Chili was bigger than her. Chili didn’t seem to notice that Mouse was smaller than her and wanted to play as if they were the same size. To avoid any crushing situations, I would make Chili lay down to play with her. They had fun together and I learned something new about Chili. She didn’t care if Mouse stole her toys, even if she was playing with them, and she didn’t even mind when Mouse tried to steal her bone right out from under her. Sometimes Mouse would just start chewing on one end while Chili was chewing on the other. She can’t be that bad if she’s so good at sharing. I don’t think an aggressive dog would be so into sharing.



The second class was a little better but it was still a wash. At least I didn’t cry the whole way home. A couple of days later we were at our personal session. Debbie was late and when she arrived Chili immediately jumped on her. Rude, I know, Debbie thought so too. She told me that when Chili jumps up, to grab her paws and walk her backwards ten paces. I know that this works with some dogs but it never did really work with Chili. She thought it was a game. Chili thinks lots of training techniques are games. It’s one of the things that I love about her but that also makes me crazy. Like Mary, Debbie also felt that Chili was aggressive. She could just tell. She told me that I had to take charge of Chili and be the boss, she was right about that. She also showed me how to put Chili in a side hold and said that I had to do this for 30 minutes every night. And, when Chili goes to lunge, I should let her get to the end of the leash and self correct. And, I was shown how to wrap the leash down her back and around her belly for more control when she lunged. This also let me use the leash to pick her up from the back end or to pick her up completely. Hmmm. I don’t know about this.

So, here I go with some new techniques. I walked Chili with the lead wrapped around her belly and used it to carry her away from incidents. How did I feel about this? Like a complete and total idiot. This wasn’t what I wanted out of training. I didn’t want a band-aid, I wanted to learn to walk her and stop her lunging. I don’t plan to walk her with the leash wrapped around her belly forever. Besides, I was worried about her getting hurt from having it wrapped around her belly. I was not comfortable with this at all. The self correction wasn’t providing results either. She didn’t care that she wrenched herself when she got to the end of the leash. She’s a tough girl and didn’t feel a thing.

We made a few other observations about Chili during that time. She’s a very gentle girl and there’s not a whole lot that bugs her. When we would play with her, she learned very quickly not to bite down. The moment she felt our hands in her mouth, she would back off. You can also poke and prod at her and she just puts up with it. Even at the vet’s office, and even when she gets her temperature taken at her back end. She really is a good natured girl. From the first day we got her, neither one of us has ever been afraid of her. She may be bratty sometimes, but there’s not a mean bone in her.



By now, the voices in my head are starting to scream. I need to look at this training in a whole new way. I really do need to trust myself and have a voice. I may not be a trainer but I’m not stupid either. From now on, I’m going to open my mouth and question things. Chili may lunge on leash at dogs but there are so many other things about her that tell me that she’s not aggressive. Things are going to be different.