A Very Special Visit

Do you believe in ghosts? Or more to the point, do you believe that our animals can come back to give us a message or say hello? I do. Of course, things are how we interpret them and sometimes we want to believe so badly that we grasp at any little thing to confirm our desires. Or, we know what we saw or felt beyond a shadow of a doubt and those around us dismiss our story so we lose the pleasure of the experience. Sometimes we just have to sit back and enjoy the moment, forget what anyone else says and have the strength to believe. 

If you’ve read any of the previous blogs, or my bio, you would have read about our dog Ruby who we had lost to cancer. She was a beautiful girl and we still miss her. When she died, we had her cremated. We put her ashes, blanket, collar, and dish in my husbands closet on a shelf that is about 3 ½ feet high. We thought that one day we would spread her ashes in the ocean, where she loved to just swim and swim, but we never could let her go completely. It’s almost a comforting feeling knowing that she’s there whenever I feel like talking to her.

Chili had been in and out of that closet numerous times sniffing around and exploring. One evening, she was doing her usual, my husband was in bed and I was getting out of the shower. Chili went into the closet and started whimpering. She wouldn’t come out when she was called. This was new. So we went into the closet and there she was, with her front paws up on the shelf, sniffing at Ruby’s blanket. She would whimper, then look at us, then sniff the blanket and whimper again. This was very unlike Chili. She was more the kind of girl who would just grab the blanket off the shelf, drag it around, and chew a hole into it. We had to take her paws off the shelf and take her out of the closet. A few minutes later, she was doing it again. Not very Chililike.

What exactly happened there? It could be explained that Chili just noticed the blanket for the first time. But why did she whimper and not do the usual Chili destructive thing? It was as if she knew that she shouldn’t touch Ruby’s stuff. I like to believe that Ruby visited Chili that day. Just to check in with her. Maybe tell her to give us a break. That we’ll always be there for her and she’ll never have to worry about anything again. We’ll never really know for sure. The whole thing was so out of character for Chili that there had to be more to it.

We ended up moving Ruby’s ashes and her things to a higher shelf. We didn’t want anything accidentally spilling in case Chili did decide to grab something. That would be an awkward position. How do you get ashes off the carpet without vacuuming them up? Seems like a very undignified thing to do to Ruby. That was the first and so far the last time that Chili went near Ruby’s stuff. Reflecting back on that day makes me smile. I like knowing that Ruby comes around now and again.

So.....do you believe?

Time to Reflect

I think it’s time to reflect on where we were and how far we had come. It did seem that we would never progress beyond full-time crazy, but there we were, only part-time crazy. That’s progress. We were walking in a somewhat civilized manner, she was responding better to verbal commands, I actually found time to breathe, and daycare was working out great. We did still have a couple of problems. First, was her high prey drive which caused her to go nuts and launch herself at the windows when she saw a squirrel or rabbit in the yard or even when we were just out, and second were her lunging and overall poor manners when greeting other dogs. These were problems that just didn’t seem to want to go away. Now and again they would start to improve, only to reappear as if they just went on vacation or something.

I must admit that I was confused. Chili loves other dogs. At daycare she plays and plays and plays. She’s popular, doesn’t discriminate as she plays with any dog that will play with her, and has a ton of fun. When we’re at the dog park and she has been properly greeted to another dog, again she just plays and plays. However, walk her down the street, and she lunges at every oncoming dog. What the...??? I don’t get it. Yes, I do admit that since this had been an ongoing problem that I would tense up when I saw another dog. It was hard not to. I had control but it wasn’t pretty and most other dog owners wouldn’t make it easier. Most would look at us as if I was allowing, or fostering the behaviour. Sometimes I felt like not even leaving the house for a walk but what would that accomplish? Nothing. The only way to progress was to go out into the world and try everything I could to make things work out.

Then there was the high prey drive. We could be casually doing anything and having a calm and wonderful time when suddenly she’d just bolt and try dragging me behind her. Even though she thought she had the element of surprise, she was wrong. I’d say that most times, I was prepared. I knew that she had the tendency to just fly at a moment’s notice so I guess I was never really at ease. The bolting was hard on my body. Something in me would always have the strength to hold onto the lead and not let go, no matter what. I think it’s just an instinct because I knew that as long as I held on, she couldn’t get into too much trouble, even though it was hard on me.

Now, her greetings with other dogs were the equivalent of a human saying hello by running up to someone and body checking them. She would run full-on up to the dogs face and then stop short, or body check them from the side. Not a greeting that was typically appreciated by the other dogs. To avoid this I would facilitate the greeting with the first dog. I would keep her on leash and let the other dog approach us. Then guide her to not get nose to nose but to sniff bums. Then I would just watch and assess the situation. If everything seemed OK, I would let them play. After the first dog greeting, usually the rest of them went fine. It was like she needed the first greeting as an ice breaker.

So that’s where we were. I would estimate that at this point we had her for over a year. Even though there were still issues, we had taken great leaps forward. Patience was key and when it comes to Chili, I have a lot. She’s a loveable goofball, not so elegant, with a touch of crazy, and when she looks at us with her happy face, we can’t help but melt. It may take an unknown amount of years to go by before we’ve solved the mysteries of Chili but I’ll wait. She’s worth it.

Training at the Dog Park

If you really want to see how far you’re coming along with your training, you need to get out of your nice safe training place and see how you fare against real life. We chose the dog park. Your dog may be an angel at your usual training spot but once you get them to a high distraction area (one that has dogs playing, balls rolling, water splashing, and bunnies hopping) you really don’t know just how trained they are. Will she remember anything, or just be so focused on everything else going on around her that it feels like we’re back at step one? I don’t know if I could take that. Reverting back to the beginning. On second thought, I know I can't take it.

We would bring her long line so we could throw the ball for her a short distance and give her a bit of freedom. There were usually dogs around the field but we were able to keep her attention most of the time. In the beginning, she did make a couple of escape attempts when she saw other dogs. Have you ever had a nylon leash rush through your hands as you desperately grip it? It doesn’t feel good, at all. Quick lesson. If you’re using a long line and you don’t want to end up with major rope burns, knot your line ever few feet so your hands have something to grip. Oh, and another lesson. Have you ever been told to stand on the dogs leash so they can’t get away? Well, that might work when you have a mini dog or if you have a big dog but you weigh a lot more than they do. However, if you have a strong and fast dog, and you weigh less than double their weight, I wouldn’t recommend it. Yes, I was quickly sent straight to the ground and directly into the mud. Of course people saw it. This type of thing never happens when there’s no audience.

Although there were a few glitches, training at the dog park was a great experience. Chili would constantly surprise me with her obedience. She made some dog friends and they became part of the training as well. We would let her play with her friends for a bit, then do a bit of obedience. She didn't like stopping to train but it wasn't her choice. One of her friends was a Mastiff/Great Dane cross. A beautiful dog with a great personality. Picture this. Chili and I walking side by side as she pranced and looked up at me with her happy face. Then, a big Mastiff/Great Dane cross bounds up to us and starts bouncing around me trying desperately to get a treat. Chili barely flinched. She just kept up her focus the whole time. It was beautiful. This is the best kind of training, real world.

Even though Chili was showing me that she was progressing I still couldn’t let her loose. I just would not let go of the end of that leash or long line. Even when she was playing. Actually, I did try trusting her a couple of times but she ignored me if she was with her friends and I would tell her to come. So there I was, trailing behind her holding onto the leash as she ran around playing. As I think back, I must’ve looked like a complete nut job. Just another crazy dog lady. What was I thinking? I was thinking that I didn’t want to lose her and the only way to prevent that was to be attached. I also knew that she didn’t have the best greeting manners and was afraid that she would end up disrespecting the wrong dog and end up in a fight. I had to protect her. It was and always will be my job. I take my role seriously. Sometimes too seriously and I let my fears take control. All that does is slow down the progress. It’s great to be aware but letting fear rule will get you nowhere. That's a lesson that took me a long time to learn.

The Great Doggie Daycare Search: Part 3

The last daycare sounded very promising on the phone. It was a home daycare and the woman sounded like she knew what she was doing. She talked the talk at least. To top it all off, it was $5 cheaper per day than the other daycares. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “if it sounds too good to be true, then it is?” Right.
We arrived at her home at the predetermined time, or so I thought. She didn’t seem to know why we were there and after a few minutes of discussion she informed us that we were there on the wrong day. Hmmm, Ok, so...... Fortunately we were able to still check it out and not have to come back later. Fortunately???

I was getting a bad feeling about how this was going to turn out and as we entered the backyard my feelings were starting to be confirmed. There were a couple of dogs in the yard and a young girl who was picking up teddy bear stuffing. There was stuffing everywhere. I guess she would sometimes give the dogs cheap teddy bears to play with and this was the aftermath. Isn’t she worried that one or more of the dogs would swallow the stuffing? There was also a small barn in the yard where she would keep dogs that got out of hand. I wasn’t impressed. Since this was a home daycare, I wondered how she spent her day. I asked if she was outside with the dogs all day. She wasn’t. She did have a pop bottle filled with coins that she would come out and shake when the dogs started making noise. That was something (insert sarcasm here). Then there was the great kennel space. Translation, a dark, smelly basement with a bunch of couches.

I struggled to come to terms with how someone would choose to leave their dog at this place. Did the dogs look unhappy? No. At least I don’t think so. Anyway, this was definitely not the place for Chili. We couldn’t get out of there quick enough.

In order to make a final decision we revisited the first daycare again. We both felt that this was the best place for Chili and we were confident that she would be taken care of and that she would have fun. It turned out to be the right decision. The staff at Pet Pampering has been great and Chili loves it. She’s excited to arrive and she’s equally happy to see us at the end of the day when we pick her up. The girls let us know when she’s been bratty and when she’s not feeling her best. They also seem genuine about their love of dogs and I’ve learned even more about Chili from listening to their stories.

Although I’m happy with taking Chili to daycare, as I look back there was one habit that we fell into that wasn’t good. Chili would play all day, then come home and eat, then sleep. She was too tired to spend time with us and we were tired from working all day so were happy that she didn’t need any further exercise. Even though I would train with her, on the off nights I should have been taking her for at least a 20 minute walk to provide consistent daily structure. Daycares certainly do get the job done and fill the need when your dog is too energetic to spend their days at home alone. Just remember that your dog also needs your attention, leadership and structure.

Chili is a very social girl and gets along great at daycare. Not all dogs have the temperament for it. Ask questions and listen to the feedback that the daycare staff is giving you. Your dog may not be a good candidate for daycare. Don’t force your dog to endure something that puts them in a state of anxiety or makes them uneasy just because it’s convenient for you. You may have to consider other options. If you’re having doubts, talk to a professional who is open and can guide you in supporting your dog and finding the best solutions for them while you’re at work. We like working with Michele at Connective Training in Victoria for our training needs. A good trainer can make all the difference in the relationship between you and your dog.

The Great Doggie Daycare Search: Part 2

With a successful beginning to our search I was feeling pretty good about things. Of course there were concerns, but I was going with my gut and I felt that daycare was the right place for Chili. Now it was off to check out the second place. This daycare was located further away than the first one but looked good on first impression. The whole property was the daycare. It was beautiful with lots of trees and space. Again, I could see Chili having a good time there. There were only about 3 dogs on the property when we visited but I believe they had up to a dozen during the days. It was clean and the couple seemed very nice. My biggest concern here was that the dogs weren’t always watched. If the people were on one side of the property, the dogs could be on the other side, doing whatever they pleased. One thing that I know about Chili, she can’t be left to her own devices. That would spell trouble. Also, it wasn’t located in a convenient place for dropping her off in the morning. Again, Chili was pretty good. She seemed more comfortable at the first daycare we visited but she did OK at this one.

Not everyone thinks that doggie daycares are good places. There is definitely a huge element of trust that comes with leaving your dog in someone else’s care, especially when you add a bunch of other dogs to the mix. Some of the questions I was asked by people were:

Do they allow Pit Bulls at the daycares?
Now, I would be lying if I said I had absolutely no reservations about Pit Bulls. At that point I had never known a Pit Bull and there are a lot of people and stories out there to keep you fearful of them. But, I love animals and it just doesn’t seem right that EVERY Pit Bull was bad. They can’t be. The first daycare allowed them, but the second didn’t. I would not let this be a deciding factor.

How is it possible for them to watch so many dogs?
The first daycare had staff and there was always someone out in the field monitoring the dogs, armed with a hose. I like that someone is watching them at all times. Do they see every little thing that every dog does, probably not. Let’s be realistic, at least they are always being monitored. At the second daycare the dogs weren’t monitored at all times. Problems can only be dealt with if you know they’re there, and you have to be watching to know.

Isn’t it inevitable that Chili will get bitten or that she’ll end up in a fight?
Maybe. She could get bitten or get into a fight on a walk or at the dog park. At least in a daycare, the staff knows each of the dogs and learn how to recognize problems before they arise. I won’t be naive and say it never happens, but hopefully it won’t be Chili.

Do you think you should have them keep her on her own?
Then what’s the point of bringing her to daycare? So she can watch the other dogs have fun while she sits alone? I don’t think so.

Maybe she’d be safer if you left her at a kennel?
That would defeat the purpose of having her energy drained. Why pay someone to kennel her when she has a kennel at home. That’s no life for Chili. She’s a very social girl.

No matter what, I get to choose. It’s my decision. So far, I’m leaning towards the first daycare but we still have one more place to see. I think that taking Chili to daycare is going to be great for her. She’ll get to play all day with other dogs and be Chili. She’ll get exposure to other breeds, sizes, ages, and temperaments and will help to get her better socialized. It’ll also be good for me. She hasn’t left my side since we got her and there has to be balance in life. I need time for me as well.

So, what’s next? A visit to the last daycare and then a decision.