Goodbye Toenail, Hello Crazy Mom

A while ago Chili ripped out one of her back toenails. Yep, she ripped it clean off. She decided that she didn’t like the side of the gate she was standing on, so she jumped over it. On the way over, she caught her toenail and well, let’s just say it didn’t make it all the way over the fence with the rest of her. It stayed behind.

It must’ve hurt. I mean, she ripped her toenail out so it had to hurt. Chili being Chili just landed, limped around for a minute, and then ‘walked it off’. Nobody knew exactly what she had done at the time. She’s always doing stuff like that and since she didn’t really seem hurt, then no worries, right. That night she was lying on her bed and I could see a red glow coming from her back toe. I was staring at it wondering what the hell I was looking at. She shifted and it stopped glowing. I figured I was imagining things, as usual. A little while later, I saw the glow again. That’s it, this calls for an inspection.

I got the flashlight so I could get a good look. Chili was not impressed. She shot me a dirty look and tried to get away. I could see that she did something to her toe, and I suspected she ripped out her toenail but I couldn’t be sure. So I did what any other normal person would do. I grabbed the camera, took a few shots, and loaded them on the computer.

Ummm, let me tell you right now. There are some things that are not meant to be photographed and viewed at a large size on a computer screen. They really aren’t.

I’m quite certain that even the most innocent scratch will look sinister when it’s blown up. I don’t know what I was thinking. All I managed to do was scare the hell out of myself. It was like a car wreck. I wanted to look away, but I just couldn’t. I was looking from the picture to Chili and back. She knew something was up and took off to the other room where she felt she would be safe from my crazy.

Yeah, run Chili, run, mom is going into crazy mode.

I figured that since a toe is on the ground a lot, this was one of those injuries that was ‘vet worthy’. Besides, that picture looked pretty scary and I couldn’t get it out of my head. Stupid picture.

After 3 vet visits, a few weeks of fighting with Chili to keep the wrapping on her foot, and ridiculously chasing her around trying to spray her toe with Vetricyn, I eventually gave up and decided I wasn’t giving the vet any more money and I was leaving Chili alone.

Her toenail would eventually grow back without any issue and a crisis wasn’t even a crisis. Or, did I avert the crisis by doing exactly the right thing and that’s exactly why she healed so well. Hmmm, there’s something to be said for being a little crazy.

Here’s to every crazy animal mom who’s just working to do the best they can.

The Lesson of the Greys

As the years go by the inevitable happens, grey hair. Nobody likes it. Especially when they start to appear on the ones we love. Last week Chili turned 5 and I don’t like it one bit. I see the bratty beast who still enthusiastically and not very gracefully zooms around the backyard, gives me the shifty-eye, showers me with kisses, then waits for me to use my ‘serious voice’ before she decides to listen. It seems like she’ll forever be the lively little girl. Then I see the grey hair creeping into her beautiful black coat. The odd stray dots her body, but I see them slowly gathering mostly around her muzzle. I guess it’s supposed to be a sign of maturity but I think it’s there as a reminder.

Time moves on and we need to hear this message the greys are sending and stop to appreciate those around us who make our lives beautiful. I’m not only referring to our animals but to anyone who brings a smile to our faces and encourages us to shine. There are people in my life who fit this bill, but for the purposes of this post, I’m going to simply talk about Chili. Why? Because that’s what makes me happy at this moment. See, I am learning from Chili.

To appreciate Chili and learn her lessons means letting go of those things that are supposed to be important. Artificially important. Chili leaves behind her a trail of dog hair tumbleweeds, destroyed plants and flowers, and zoom ruts. I could give more examples but I’ll stop there. We could stress over the dirt and destruction or laugh about it. I’ve chosen to laugh because the other option just doesn’t make sense.

Most of the dog hair on the floor comes from us petting her, and her happily wiggling around to make sure we’re hitting the right spot. As she gives herself a good shake in a beam of sunshine there’s a puff of hairs left swirling around that brings me back to watching cartoons as a kid. The destroyed plants and flowers, and zoom ruts, usually come from playing with her in the yard. A misdirected Frisbee sends her to crush a plant, or her overall excitement throws her into zoom mode leaving ruts where she corners, and sheared off flowers that she fails to jump. It’s hard not to get sucked into the moment when you see that big smile and feel her excitement.

So here comes the choice, or the weighing of the options. Do you worry about the dog hair, and the destruction, and shut the whole thing down? You’ll definitely have less hair, and a nice yard. Maybe only pet the dog outside and take them to parks to play. Make the yard the place to show off and impress the neighbors with your skills. Or, do you let yourself be free to get lost in these spontaneous moments and appreciate them for what they are. I do appreciate a clean home and the beauty of a flower and a well groomed yard, but I appreciate Chili and those moments more.

For me, appreciation isn’t just about the person, or the dog, it really is about the moments. How many moments have you lost because you’ve always made the more controlled choice? I know I’ve lost quite a few. Luckily there isn’t a time limit on change so no matter what time we have left with those who are special to us, we can always make the choice to let go and allow ourselves to get lost in these moments.