The Roles We Play

Chili loves life. She’s always smiling and running around in a blissful state with the belief that the world is her cookie. Well, except for when she’s defending the house against a rabbit, squirrel, cat, or deer that happens to dare to cross into her yard. Even then, she’s happily defending her home and doing her job. Those who know her love her. Seriously, they do. She makes people smile. No matter what she does, she’s committed to having the most fun ever. As we walk and she passes by people, I imagine that if she could talk, she would say ‘hi’, ‘how’s it goin’, ‘hello’, ‘what’s up’, ‘wanna play’, to every person that walked by her. I often wonder how such a happy dog could cause us so much trouble.

We all think we know our dogs. Do we really know them, or do we know the story that we’ve created around them? Although Chili has improved incredibly, I know that she lunges at dogs, and I know that I have to facilitate greetings for her with other dogs. After the initial crazy, she’s ready to play. That’s what I know from my history with her. However, the girls at daycare know a different story. They don’t know one of lunging and problems, they know her as pushy but playful, happy and energetic, a big goofball who will play with almost any dog who will play with her. She doesn’t have any lunging or greeting issues. She’s the perfect dog to welcome new dogs into the daycare. So, which is the real Chili?

I find this whole idea fascinating. I like to think that daycare Chili is the real Chili. She’s allowed to be herself. They don’t worry about her and feel like she needs to be monitored. She’s watched just like the rest of the dogs, and when she acts up, she gets in trouble just like the other dogs. It’s all quite simple. Not like at home. I know I worry about her too much, but really, what am I supposed to do? Our story started when we adopted her and it’s been a difficult story to rewrite. Early on when she started lunging, we didn’t know how to manage it, so it went on and on. With consistency, we became more and more stressed and the story we played out was giving each other the heads up when we saw an oncoming dog, preparing to hold her back and riding out the wave. The story for Chili was that every time a dog passed, mom and dad became nervous and stressed so she would lunge. It happened consistently so it became her routine. It was our routine, our story. After a number of repetitions, we all learned our role in the walk.

The whole time, I always knew it could be different. I believed that Chili had it in her to walk by a dog calmly. I didn’t know how to make it happen, but I knew it would. So, we kept playing our parts. We had some success with the E-collar but it was inconsistent. It was great for the recall, but not so great for breaking her focus. As I look back, I’m quite certain I wasn’t doing my part with the collar and that’s why it wasn’t really working. I had to find a way to get her to stop staring at the oncoming dog. I knew the answer would come, I just hoped it would come soon. I had to find a way to change the story and change our roles. Daycare Chili would prevail.